"Hear and Believe"


Didja Know...

... that many people (maybe even you!) actually doubt reports of sexual molestation? I suppose that it is so unreasonable, so illogical to the healthy mind that such abuse exists in monumental proportions that it seems somehow natural to question.

HOWEVER, consider the following thought. Is it reasonable to assume, or wonder if a rape victim is actually reporting the truth? Given the incredible humiliation that the physical examinations, interrogations, depositions, and scrutiny that criminal prosecution of a suspected rapist involves, why would a woman subject herself to such a trial if it were untrue? Preposterous! Often, the victim is put on trial herself! This is no secret. It is exposed in films, documentaries and print media. Anyone traumatized in this manner makes a decision to vindicate herself, and perhaps prevent a perpetrator from committing rape again. Or not. It is my presumption that less than half of the rape cases are reported at all, let alone prosecuted. I am not surprised by this.

LIKEWISE, an adult who reports memories of being sexually abused faces a similar dilemma. Who will believe her? Especially if no one believed her, heard her, or helped her as a child. Doubt regarding the wisdom of the disclosure to a friend, or a professional clouds his/her own heart. Years and years may have passed. Time didn't heal the wound. Perhaps intimate relations suffer. Or self esteem is non-existent. Or addictions rule, and as the internal pain and conflict refuses to be buried, the victim seeks escape in any way possible.

IF YOU, or anyone you know suddenly confides this harsh reality, do determine the possibility that a truth is being shared. If you doubt it, ask yourself this question:

Why would a person falsely accuse a parent (or anyone) of sexual abuse??

  • needed another reason to stay in therapy.
  • wanted to be discredited by journalists, talk show hosts, radio interviews, memory experts, friends and family.
  • decided to experience a change of pace with intense and suicidal thoughts.
  • wanted to repay parents for supportive and caring things done as a child.
  • wanted an excuse NOT to have sex with a partner
  • worried that self-esteem was too healthy and decided to trash it.
  • wanted to be different, special, and get attention by becoming depressed.
  • wanted to experience a panic attack.
  • wanted an easy way to decrease Christmas list.
  • wanted someone to blame for anxiety attacks, compulsive behavior, depression, insomnia, substance abuse, sexual dysfunction and fear.
Adapted: Family Violence & Sexual Assault Bulletin, Vol. 11, No. 1-2, 1995, p.33

UNDERSTAND.  Reporting abuse is every good citizen's obligation. Be the first one to hear and believe. There is no shame in requiring an investigation. Protect a child! Validate an adult, contact a professional! Chances are you are beholding the TRUTH!

PLEASE call your local abuse hotline or child protective services immediately! (In Oakland County Michigan contact Care House at: 248-333-0999; in Macomb County: 810-463-0123; or call 1-800-962-2873)

For additional resources, click on our links.html page.

Judy M. Rauckhorst, MSW, LCSW
Editor, The Dysfunktional Card Co.
Vice-President, Family Life Today, Inc.
Clearwater, FL
Managed by What Webs We Weave, LLC

Last-Modified 15:31 12/6/2002
The Dysfunktional Card Co.