The case last week illustrates how difficult it can be to
prosecute abusers. They prey on vulnerable children; they use
threats to keep their victims from talking; other parents and
relatives may be reluctant to believe children's allegations; and
the children can be so fearful and embarrassed that they recant,
deny or refuse to cooperate.
Beyond all of that, prosecutors and investigators say, many
people just don't want to believe that children are being sexually
abused in their community, their neighborhood or their own home.
Wake Assistant District Attorney Susan Spurlin tried to address
that disbelief in the very first line of her closing argument last
week.
"Not one of us wants to believe that any man is capable of doing
what this defendant is charged with doing," she told the jury of
nine men and three women. "No one wants to believe that such a vile,
evil, wicked man might live in their community. But ladies and
gentlemen, such a man lives here in Wake County."
Even in this case, one of the man's former girlfriends testified
on his behalf. His sister tried to discourage one of the victims
from testifying against him.
While teachers seducing their students grabs the headlines, in
fact the most prevalent form of child sexual abuse is incest,
according to Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina, and 34 percent of
sexual abuse is at the hands of a family member. Experts say most
abusers of children are father figures to their victims, usually a
biological relative, a stepfather or the mother's boyfriend.
Although this article is seriously disturbing, it is not a total shock
to survivors of incest.
Victim-survivors are familiar with the shameful, painful and paralyzing
fear that makes disclosing the secret of sexual abuse impossible. The
truth is so repugnant!
The reality of altering the existing family system and exposing FATHER
is terribly frightening. Even an abusing family is still FAMILY to a
needy child! Logic and reason simply do not factor into a child's
immature thought processes. It is a mind-splitting dilemma! Emotions
and denial RULE this, the most cruel of circumstances, particularly
because the father holds all authority and power over the child.
Only another responsible adult can appropriately advocate for an abused
child and interrupt the devastating effects of incest and offer hope and
recovery from the cycle of abuse.
With all our heart,
Pam Drake
Artist and Founder
Judy M. Rauckhorst, MSW, LCSW
Editor, The Dysfunktional Card Co.
Vice-President, Family Life Today, Inc.
Clearwater, FL
